Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. ”
Matthew 16:24 NABRE
When I was young I always took it for granted that everyone was a Christian and that furthermore, most people were “on fire” for The Lord. My parents raised me in the Presbyterian faith and made sure that I understood that my faith in Christ should always be the center of my life. Towards the end of my time in high school I seriously considered going into the ministry. However like many I fell to the temptations of a fallen world during my senior year and as I began college. I found that going out all night long with friends and sleeping in had become more important than going to church or even making time for prayer. I never stopped believing in God but he surely took a back seat to how I wanted to live my life.
I met my wife, Amanda over winter break my freshman year of college. She was raised as a Catholic which at the time didn’t mean much to me. After four wonderful years of dating while I continued to live my life without much care or concern for my faith we decided to get married. Amanda strongly wanted to get married in her home parish and I just wanted to get married. We went through the typical American wedding traditions and I know that God was mentioned in the ceremony however, I was more concerned with moving on with our lives. After our wedding I decided that I would officially convert and become Catholic. At the time I did not really think about what that would mean for my life but it was a small step in a larger awakening and craving for God’s word.
My approach to becoming Catholic was decidedly an academic exercise where I learned what to say and do during the Mass in addition to learning the major theological tenants of the Church. These things were important but I struggled to emotionally engage as a new Catholic no matter how hard I tried. I became so involved in learning the faith like a textbook that I forgot that being a Christian, Catholic or otherwise is first in foremost about a personal relationship with Christ.
Fast forward 6 years during which time I continued to have a hot a cold relationship with my faith. During this time we had our first two children baptized and my young family moved to a new parish. At this point a very good non-Catholic Christian friend began to really engage with his faith. I was blown away to see him so on fire for his faith and began to wonder where I had lost that same fire within me! I began to think often about what had become of the past 10 years of my life and I realized that even though I was not fully devoted to Christ he had always been present for me. I see this now in the beautiful wife and my three wonderful children that he has blessed me with. I began to pray again, I began to engage in my faith and once again like when I was a child I realized that I needed Christ at the center of my life! I consider myself blessed that even during the selfish journey that I have gone on Christ led me to the Catholic Church. I believe that this is truly where I should be as a believer.
Now in my faith journey I find myself with questions that I hope to work towards an answer.
1. I read and listen to many Catholics who are on fire for their faith just as I am however, I find it very difficult to find these Catholics in everyday life. What is it about certain churches (including mine) that Christians can be so lackluster about their faith? We have wonderful examples throughout history and today of people living out their faith as the center of their life, why are we afraid to do it in our lives? I find this point especially poignant now with the terrific example that we have in Pope Francis.
2. Why does it seem that everyday lay Catholics are afraid to engage each other outside of Sunday in religious activities? I have tried to join a variety of groups within my church to help myself and others to strengthen our faith but the turnout in these groups has been lackluster at best. This issue is especially pervasive among younger Catholics.
3. More of a statement than a question. I find that as a Christian in modern society I am looked at as an outcast instead of the norm. It seems ok to identify as a Christian but that if you decide to outwardly live your faith in secular culture your are ostracized and looked at as someone with an antiquated worldview
4. Why do Christians who are engaged with their faith fail when it comes to caring for those in need? This is something I see as a flaw within myself. I have told my wife that I can listen to Christian music all day and read all of the latest and greatest by Christian writers but unless I become the face of Christ to people around me am I really doing what Christ wants of his people?
I bring up these questions because in this blog I hope to delve in deeper as I try to answer some of the questions and hopefully work to being part of the solution. I welcome everyone’s comments and critiques and hope that readers will find a strong ally on their quest for Heaven! As I begin this journey please pray for me.
“Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.”
St. Patrick
Christ All Around Us 